Impact Of A Soul To A Soul From A Soul

It’s the first New Year celebration in this little space I shared since 2 months ago. I guess I would never have even started if it was not for Winn and Kyels. Both directly and indirectly. I’m just lucky that my boss does not know I spend time doing this in the office too…

May the new year bring forth good tidings for Winn, Kyels, devilfrmheaven, piggie, Ah Sim, Carmen, Caren, Chea Ying, Fung Wan, Chee Kheun, Lai Kuan, Lisa, Lee Khuen, Kwong Wai, Elvin, Agnes, Jacqueline, David, Wan She, Catherine, Enid, Graham, Katrina, Isabelle, Elizabeth, Grace, Woo, Lee Keng, Ron, Siew Lan, Michelle, Foong Li, MBSSKL schoolmates, Stamford, Collegemates, Friends and Family.

You have all been there for me, and I miss you guys so much. I know we have not been getting together often enough, but let’s hope we meet soon. As for the ones that has been roaming around the WWW space, I miss u people no less, for you have been there for me as well, knowingly or unknowingly. I cherish you all

May All Your Dreams Comes True
World Peace is not new, but I still wish for it
Natural Disaster & Suffering still plagues, but I wish to lessen it
And last but not least, A wish for myself, of the simplicity of life
Happiness & Sorrow to make my life more colourful

12 Expressions »

I just remember a couple of days ago when I was driving along Jalan Imbi, right in front of Berjaya Times Square. It was not really alien to me as I use that path quite often, for work or leisure. But what puzzles me are not the traffic congestions or the unpredicted condition of the traffic congestions. It just seems whenever I drive along the path I will be able to see pedestrians crossing the busy street to and fro between BTS, Low Yat and Sungai Wang. What is wrong with this picture, you might ask, well it does not really seem wrong giving the crowd that visits these few places everyday. But have you wonder why was the puny little fence built on the divider of the roads? It was meant to keep a clear mark of both side and to keep pedestrians from crossing over so easily. Why you may ask? And the answer is so clear for SAFETY! That’s why.
It’s just frustrating to see pedestrians crossing a some what four to five lanes of fast driving cars. I still do not comprehend the fact that they are hundred and thousands of pedestrians still crossing busy streets even when a pedestrian bridge has been built for them. We have seen and read so much in the papers bout pedestrian killed while crossing busy streets or highway. But why are we forsaking our lives for just saving 5 minutes of using the pedestrian bridge? It just does not make sense, a path that can get you killed anytime over a safe path, are we all the daredevil type looking for death challenges every minute?
I remember a news sometime ago where a family of three or four where killed after being hit by a car. It was indeed a sad news indeed and to me it was even worse for the driver. It’s not that I am cold heart, the family was an adult and all others were child, but I felt what it was to be in the driver’s shoes. First of all it happened on the highway and I believe anyone driving on the highway would not be slow, if you do then you should just stay away from the wheels. Can you imagine the trauma that the driver has to go through and how it will affect him/her for the rest of his/her life.
Can you imagine the guilt, the burden that one has to carry on their shoulder of taking the lives of other? It gets worse when it’s a multiple of lives that we carry on our shoulder. The blood on your hands! The guilt hanging in the heart! And to top it off, it might not even have been the driver’s fault, which is what makes it worse. I believe when we drive especially on the highway or even in the city with more than three lanes, we would not even have thought there would be any other obstacle other than those motorists that drives slower than tortoises. These bloods will cover the hands of the driver and it would not go away but instead giving nightmares of “What have I done?” or “IF only I was driving slow like a tortoise…”
It is always easy to blame the driver for reckless driving and of cause when the only survivor would be the driver. But we often neglect the fact that it was unavoidable. I mean in the first place if there is a pedestrian bridge or traffic light around and especially at night. I am not saying it’s always the fault of the pedestrian or the driver, but hey, we have all got to do our part. If you start using the traffic lights and pedestrian bridges, all this would be avoidable and it will cause less pain for everyone.
Every time I see these people crossing the road I just feel like running them down. And believe me, if there was no rule against hit and kill, I will run down each and every one of you. There is a perfectly built pedestrian bridge which is just another five minutes of your time, but no, you had to save that five minutes and swarm the streets like it was some god given privileges that you have to utilize. Believe me, if you are hit, be it the fault or whichever party, you are at the losing end. You are what we call steel wrapped by skin where as the driver is skin wrapped by steel. So why take the risk?
I guess the education that was drilled into the minds of our society was not successful or it did not include this small little common sense. We may be educated in so many aspects, but I guess we definitely lack in one aspect. The aspect of morality definitely has not made it into our lifestyle. This is just one of the examples. There are so many things we can pick upon in our society that shows how immoral our society is while we are teaching moral studies to our off springs. Such an ironic reality we are living through.
So the next time when you want to cross a busy road, just stop and think for a while, is there a better alternative route. Don’t be the cause of sadness for your close ones and guiltiness for perfectly strangers.

Look before you leap
Think before you do
Always be considerate
And think of others
After you think of yourself

No Expressions »

This year, Christmas was special in a way, we had turkey. My cousin sister invited us for a turkey dinner at their place this year. I was actually reluctant as it was on Christmas Eve. You know of coz, Christmas Eve, what better to do than booze and get drunk with a bunch of people you don’t even know. I guess the idea of having spending Christmas Eve with relatives and family was not such an appealing idea at all. Nonetheless, I went along as I do not want to be the black sheep of the lot, missing from family and relative functions.
I drove to Bentong, a small town in Pahang, kind of my hometown as well, coz I spend most of my childhood festivities here with families and relatives. The drive started off quite torturing with the sudden downpour which caused a bit of jam and some visibility issues. Other than that the highway was really smooth. Reached my cousin sister’s place around 8 and waited for a while before the little buffet was to begin. All the dishes were prepared by my 2 cousin sisters and a cousin brother. It was indeed a buffet although there were only 11 of us.
The dinner consisted of salads, pasta, potato, ham, desserts, drinks and of coz the main attraction is the turkey. The dinner was fabulous and I really want to thank my cousin sister for all the trouble and of coz thanks for inviting us. It was my first taste of turkey and of coz my first encounter with one. To the eye, a turkey simply does not look any different from a normal chicken, other than the size. The turkey that was on the table was actually the smallest one around that they bought right from the supermarket. Although it was the smallest one it still costs more than a hundred bucks. It just simply looks like an overgrown chicken, its size is roughly about twice or thrice the size of the largest chicken around in the market. We only managed to eat half of the turkey. Imagine that, 11 person and we could only finish half of the darn bird. But then at least I have tasted turkey before, and in whole while we carve into it. Such an experience, its definitely priceless, other than that, there’s mastercard or visa.
Even though we did not finish the food as it was really filling, especially the turkey, it was a memorable occasion. It could be so far the best Christmas Eve I have had in all these years. How best to celebrate Christmas than having family and relatives getting together to feast on the turkey, which would sound so much like a European family gathering. Christmas was definitely in the air during that night.
I guess such gatherings are so often neglected, especially while we are younger. I remembered that I would kill to go out and be with friends every other occasion, be it Christmas, Chinese New Year, Deepavali, Thaipusam or whatever the holiday it was. It just seems at that time, spending time with family is just pointless or so to speak, can be done later. The only reason we might want to spend with family might be the all expenses paid trips or vacations. I was a bad bad bad boy.
As we grow older, we find out that spending quality time with family and relatives are such golden opportunities that it has become priceless. It’s has suddenly shot to top ranking in our list of jobs or task or even wish list. I have started to appreciate the time spent with family even though just a small outing such as applying passport and stuff like that. The satisfying feeling of just being there with your family is a feeling of nirvana which to me has no substitute.
I guess I am very lucky to still be able to experience such a gift where some may not be able to. So many of us does not know the meaning of lucky, as we have so much that others may only yearn for.

Have you spent enough time with your families and relatives?
Do you appreciate or do you retaliate to spending time with families and relatives?

2 Expressions »

I have finally finished the game. Actually I finished it last week and I took roughly two weeks to finish the game with my busy work life. I am the most notorious driver and number one on the blacklist. Yes, if you play games, you will know, I am the number one on the blacklist in the game Need For Speed Most Wanted.
It is one of the best driving games which I have played so far inclusive of their earlier version which is Need For Speed Underground one and two. It was both good games but this latest one blew it off. Though they were good, but it lacked the police squad which will chase and hunt you down when you start tearing down the road in your wheels. The game was really an addictive one, which caused me 2 weeks of sleepless nights thinking nothing other than the game. I spent every evening and even up to the wee hours of the night just playing the game.
I would say the game faired very well, but then it does need some improvement though. The game still feature a limited set of cars which you can purchase and the sound of the roaring engines really makes your adrenaline rush all the way from your toes to your head. I guess to have them load in more cars like in the game Grand Tourismo 4 would be a wishlist, which would not happen anytime soon as they have not done it throughout the series. Another thing I noticed is that the upgrade options are all predefined and there is not much you can control. You just need to know stuff from lowest to highest performance which is sports, pro, super pro, and ultimate.
The things I like best about this game is the police stuff. They have a range of code from 1 to 5 being 5 is the most dangerous chase. They have squad cars from the lower range to corvette as well as helicopters. It’s just pure adrenaline when you are being chased by 15 police cars and a helicopter. But bear in mind it can get very frustrating when you can’t shake them off after 20 minutes.
I guess I like the game because it is a pure adrenaline rush and it’s not the kind of game that needs you to think too much but rather to have your reflexes take over. Every decision in a split second determines if you get busted or not you get away from all the cops. It’s a fairly easy game to pick up and you will get into it straight away. But you do need time to train your reflexes to finish the game and of coz a bit of brains to know how to stir the cops away from your trail.
I guess games do get people like me addicted and the only thing that you can think of is just to finish the game. I guess games does have a big effect to all it’s fans, be it in the younger generation or the older ones. For me, I know a game is a game and all that I do in the game does not goes out in the streets. I guess the power to differentiate that is going to ensure that gamers are at a healthy state rather than taking their rage and mimicking what they can do in the games out on the streets. But how to you know you are mature enough to comprehend all others from reality. That is a question many have asked but so few have the answers to it. Like Josie Maran said in the game…

Do all your racing in the games and drive carefully on the streets
And remember to wear your seatbelts.

4 Expressions »

Well, you know how frustrating and difficult it is for the first time, you want to get it right and prevent mistakes. You don’t know what you need, what you have to do, what you need to bring, where to do it and stuff like that. I was suppose to apply for my passport in Putrajaya, but luckily my colleague who went there because of me called me to tell me that the Immigration Department in Putrajaya does not have this service of applying or renewing passport, except for diplomats and for major problems where all other immigration offices refuses to take care of. I’m really sorry Chin, for making you go all the way there for nothing and end up with me in Subang Airport Terminal 3.
I just don’t understand, from what I know, the Putrajaya Immigration department is one of the biggest as it is the headquarters and the crowd there is like near to none. Why is it only restricted to problematic passports and so called VIPs. Isn’t it better to have people applying for passport there rather than have them swat flies? I just don’t understand why we have to have big buildings with the latest technology but to serve no purpose. I may be wrong but I do not think there will be thousands of VIPs applying or renewing of people having problems with their passports. It’s just a big waste. Very annoying to say the least and as someone told me today, very disappointing altogether.
I had to resort to changing my direction to Subang Terminal 3 to apply for my passport. I reached there at about 0730 as it was a miracle that federal highway was smooth like silk. Can you imagine there was no jam in the morning in federal highway! If I gamble, I’m sure I’ll hit the lottery one. So as advised by the elderly, went there to take photos for the passport as if you take yourself the chances of it getting rejected is very high, so I did not want to take the risk and waste my money in this state of economy. So I got my number at around 0815 and it started of very slow. The numbers were like jumping 2 or 3 number in 20 or 30 minutes, even my turtles seem to go faster at that moment. After a while it boosted up and I was handing in my documents to the officer within the next 45 minutes. So I thought it would be smooth from there as the next step would be to make payment and then off I go back… but nooooooooo, they had to make people angry. You know the number you took when submitting the documents, you use back the number for payment. The stupid person just had to do all this and that business and left the place unmanned. So I guess my paper was in but then the new ones just went on top of it. Isn’t it stupid! The new ones should go below and they put it on top. So all the later ones got to pay first and I had to wait. What does it spell for them, STUPID and NOT SYSTEMATIC AT ALL! It’s just plain idiotic and I guess even idiots know the first in first out rules. So I had to wait another 45 to 60 minutes just to pay because of their stupidity.
I do not mean to degrade but it is common sense, and this gets on peoples nerves. I was actually about to ask for the supervisor and my number were buzzed. I know from word of mouth that the improvement from yesteryears was incredible, but then what good are those if these small little things are forsaken. I do hope the improvement will continue but do have a better system for transferring from submission of documents to payment. And if the number of applicants are increasing, why not increase another payment counter rather than having one. I heard smaller branches with less submission counters have at least 2 payment counters.
This was definitely not a pleasant first time, but then again, I know improvement takes time and I do wish there will be improvement to avoid all these problems. While I am at it for those who have not experienced their first time here are some stuff to take note.

Things you need to apply for a passport

1. The application form
2. 1 x photocopy of birth certificate
3. 1 x photocopy of My Kad
4. 2 x photograph (best taken at the branch to ensure acceptance)
5. RM 300 (cash only)

What do you think should be improved?
Why can’t we just make appointment and bring all the necessary documents rather than having applicants fighting to queue every morning?
What can we do to improve it?
What can we do…?

No Expressions »

I am starting my leave tomorrow until the end of the year. Happy happy happy. And to top it off, I should be able to get my streamyx back tonight. Yup, after 5 days of internetless, I am finally getting back my connection. These few nights have been restless without connection to the open world.
I have a dinner later. Something like a Christmas dinner with colleagues. There will be another for Chinese New Year, just like the china man company, the closing work type. It’s just so nice to have colleagues like these. Though we are more towards the eateries around town and occasional drinkers during our eating sessions, and not the hardcore clubbers gang. Let’s hope I get a buzz later after dinner, then it’s sunway for drinking session. I guess life is treating me good. Eating and drinking, 2 of my favorite past times.
I guess we should just do what we want to do. Take leave and go out an play for a while. Like they say, too much work makes Jack a dull boy. So come on come on, come out and play, like Green Day style.
Well a jolly good time to all and enjoy yourself. If you happen to bump into me, don’t forget to say hi!

Merry Christmas to all…
Ho Ho Ho

No Expressions »

You know how stupid one can be. I certainly know now. I have been walking around with an expired credit card and I have been using it not knowing shy it has been rejected in all major shopping complex. Hai. I was scratching my head until I am almost bald, thinking what had been the problem. Now I know…
It’s not like me totally as I do not forget stuffs like that. I bet it’s the working nights and then coming into the office without sleep has killed my sense of a bit. I think I have this syndrome of wait and forget. You know when you have something to do or you get a mail, then you say I will attend to it later. However, poof, you totally forget until you are prompted again bout that.
I don’t know if I am having this coz I am getting old or just because I’m the procrastinating type. Today had been a very busy day with all the stuff going and still I have not gotten my streamyx back. This is fairly stupid I had to call here and there to try to pay online but then they tell me maintenance la, then have to wait 48 hours la for first timer and stuff like that. This is plain stupid. I have to wait another day just to get whatever stuff they need to reactivate my line. It’s been 3 and today is going to be the 4th day without internet connection.
Come on speed up the process and give me back my connection already. I must remember to pay my bills on time. I must remember so many things. You think I am a robot ah? I can’t remember all that you know. *sigh*
I guess when we procrastinate, it just kills you silently with all the misfortunes that comes after that. Do you procrastinate? Do you know of people procrastinating but still can manage things well? Anyone can teach me to procrastinating in style or smarter?

Procrastination is the thief of time

2 Expressions »

I guess this festive season has just died on me. It’s meaningless. There has been so much to look for and so much planning. There has been so much hope and yet so much disappointment. There just seem to be nothing for me to celebrate this Christmas… nothing to celebrate at all. I guess I am just very unlucky with festivities where people should enjoy and remember. You know there are those first kisses on Christmas Eve, birth of romances on Christmas day or other stuff like that. But with me, it’s always the opposite. I guess I’ve had my new year killed a couple of years ago and then now, Christmas seems to be no livelier than that dreaded new year day.
There seem to be nothing else that I could do, but to just accept stuff as it is being thrown in my face. Sober would be my best bet to getting through this season to be jolly. Nothing to cheer about for me though, but I guess it’s still a season to be jolly for you all out there. If anyone happen to see a zombiefied, lifeless soul wondering alone during this season of joy, just try to refrain from pitifying him. Let him be alone enjoying the season K.
The priest is down… with a big blow.

Here’s wishing all a very early Christmas celebration and definitely a very happyfied new year. May all your wishes and resolution be fulfilled and guide you through your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 Expressions »

There seem to be times when everyone, and I do mean everyone, would like to have a change. The poor would definitely would like to have a change to a more decent living, the moderate would like to have a change to be rich, the rich would like a change to be worry free like the day to day lives of the poor and so forth. We would all like a change, and definitely to what we perceive to be of a better life. I am of coz none other than one of the poor to moderate categories, looking for a change. I am this pathetic employee who can’t even earn a decent living to support myself and my parents. You know this thought that you want to give everything good to your parents, yay, but I can’t do it, not with what I’m earning.
But then there is of coz some stuff that we do not wish to change. These would be feelings for our parents, loved ones, family and friends. I do not know bout you all, but I do not wish to change my feelings for my friends as well, as they have accompanied me through my times, though they were never there during my bad times, but that is because no one knows when my times are bad.
I guess the one thing that we would not like to have change, would definitely be the change of heart. I believe we would not like a change of heart especially of our loved ones towards us. A change of heart seems such a small thing, but then the impact can be so huge, it might wipe out our entire world. It is so often that when we have a change of heart, we would say it’s inevitable, but then when we are at the receiving end, it all changed from inevitable to heartless and cruel. I guess anything bad comes to us on the receiving end will always be difficult comprehend.
I guess it’s in our nature that we are protective and definitely selfish. I am guilty of this accusation as well as I have wronged other during my course of living on this ball of rock since I first set foot and started walking. I am definitely not pointing fingers and holding any grudges to those who have wronged me, I never had. I do thing of you every now and then and am thankful that it all happened as those were the sweet memories that have a place in my small little heart. Besides that I do pray hard and wished you happiness truly from the bottom of my heart. As for those whom I have wronged, I do not even deserve your forgiveness, but then I still wish a happy and fulfilled life ahead for you.
I guess we are all subject to change, just like the fine print with the asterisks imprinted on brochures, bills, documents or whatever documents. Who can say and guarantee that they will not change? I know we do hear this especially in dramas and stuff as well as we do use them a lot. I have from my experiences, found out that we have no guarantee on our feelings, our heart. It is a matter of time that our heart will succumb to the ever changing environment and change accordingly. It’s the magnitude of change that we should consider. If there is a big change in magnitude, that is where the dangers arises. This is because such a high magnitude of change will affect every things. A small magnitude of change is normally complimented with the changing environment and normally can be overcome when brought to discussions.
When a change of heart does occur at this magnitude of total change, I guess there is nothing we can do, but to accept it. Definitely it’s never easy to accept things as we do not have control over them. We feel helpless and frustrated, but believe me, when you are facing a heart that has changed, there is basically nothing we can do to reverse the odds, so to speak. As I have tried time and time again, done everything imaginable, it does not help much but got me into more trouble. I have learned from experience and time that we can never change other and neither can we change ourselves. That is the truth, especially if we want to please someone. It never works.
Over the years, I learnt this lesson of letting go, which by the way, is not as easy to do as saying. I have always been able to physically let go, but it’s just so difficult to do it mentally. Letting go does not mean forgetting, but to look back and be thankful that it happened rather than looking back feeling sad and asking why it happened to me. I have found out one of the key elements to me at least is to know the truth. When I know the truth, I would be able to put down the burden eventually. Another element to soothe the soul would be time, the best remedy to a broken heart.

A wish of happiness to all
A sense of sorrow circle in my air
A time to celebrate and be joyful
A mask blissfully hiding
A broken heart hanging in sorrow
A cheerful laughter hiding
A cut deepened in the heart

2 Expressions »

I am here again in the office and now it’s just past 1 in the morning on this sunday morning. I just don’t know what I would do if I did not have this job. How would I fill my hours on this wee hours of the day.

I’m not feeling very good… things are not working well. The problem has not been resolved. Bad bad bad!!!

I do not feel good. My streamyx has been cut off. How stupid can I be. I forgot to pay 2 months of my bills. I guess I have totally forgot bout that. I am getting old I guess, but that is not an excuse. May be that is why I have not gone home from the office even though it has past 1 in the morning.

I am heart broken, or broken hearted… whichever way it is. I just have no mood. I feel very emotional. I feel… devastated. I feel… frustrated. I feel… I dunno what to feel. I am having this big migraine again. When will I get back on my feet???

Of coz not probably coz of work. Personal stuff is hanging on the air and over the edge of the cliff…
How I wish sometimes there is just a plug…

*pulls plug*
*pppzzzzzttttttt………*
*External Power Disconnected*
*tut*
*blanks out and shuts down*
*—————-*

No Expressions »