Impact Of A Soul To A Soul From A Soul

It’s currently 10 minutes pass 11 and darn, I am in the office. Why I have not gone home yet , you asked. I did, but then as duty calls, and this is a planned event, I had to come back to work at this ungodly hour. The ungodly hours have more to come, and I guess this is going to be a hell of a long night again for me. I guess I have nothing to complain bout as this is my job and this is the job that I chose to be involve with, which feeds my needs and a little of my wants as well.
I have already worked more than 8 hours since this morning and then now another predicted 8 hours of not so productive work. Why I didn’t do this in a godlier hour you say, well if I could I would have. Do you think I am this soul that could not live much of a life without torturing myself to the max… of coz not. It’s just that there are things that can only be done when all of you are asleep.
Enough bout that, sometimes I do wonder why am I stuck with such a job, other than the 8 hours daily work that I put in, I still need to be on standby anytime, anywhere. Why can’t I just settle for a job that specifies a working hour from 8 to 5 daily, and then don’t the freaking call me after 5 or before 8 on weekdays. I did thought about that but then I felt that my life is more towards the unpredictable so I chose to be in this IT line and work like a dog, with a dog’s pay too. I guess I just have this fetish of getting calls at ungodly hours and working my body, soul and mind non-stop continuously of unknown hours. I am freaky, what a freak…
I guess when I look back in the years to come; I want to be able to say I did it my way, working at least some years doing the things that I like and not because I had to do it. I suddenly realize that I have been doing this for 4 years and I guess what they say is right; age does catch up and slows you down even if you do not want to admit it. I guess I am no longer the undergrad who did not sleep for like 3 days consecutively just to finish a project and still feel like a brand new soul. I believe over the past 4 years my physical and mental tolerance has decreased tremendously. What seem to be bread and butter to me umpteen of years ago now seem so dreadful to try to relive it again, even partially. Cutting my shut eyes for like 2 hours daily has resulted in decrease in mental alertness and finally it turned to huge migraine this afternoon and then no I have not been getting any shut eyes for the last 12 hours and the later 20 hours or so. I guess I am not as I used to be 10 years ago, and I have to admit that I am getting old. You know what they always say, you will never feel it when you are young, but when you get older, all the thigns will surface. I guess I have to agree with it, as you age, you really start to reap the seed which you had sow. Like they say, when you are young, your engine is still new and powerful, but when your engine ages, the rust and the over revving which you have done in the earlier stage will prove to be irreparrable.
I think I am doing a very pointless entry here, as I do not know what is the gist of the things which I have typed. How shameful of me… shame shame shame. But then again I guess what I want to say is that we should do things that we want to do, do things that we are happy doing and not just for the sake of doing it. if you are doing a job of an engineer but all you wanted to do is just be a painter or something like that, then you will not be happy no matter what. We should treasure all the time that we have as they are short. You never know what’ll happen next year, next day, next hour, next minute or even next second. Why would you want to waste time doing something that makes you unhappy or just plain miserable? And of coz, do not overdo it at the expense of your physicals, as you may find that all the irrepairable parts of our physical will bring to the downfall of your mind and soul.

Do you want joy in every little thing that you do
Or
Do you wan misery in every little thing that you do

You have the make the choice…

It’s pass midnight now… and it’s not even half done… this is going to be a long long night
*sigh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am here sitting in my place in the office since 0745. I have not even managed to shut my eyes for a while. I need to finish up the report of the event I have done just now. I have not been sleeping and now I am still doing this pointless entry… where is my priorities…