Impact Of A Soul To A Soul From A Soul

Yah, laugh la, you think a killer computer would make a good laughing joke right. But when you think a bit of the Hollywood era, then you would not be laughing that much but a bit of amazement might build up in your mind. The awakening of Skynet and terminator brought the fears of artificial intelligence build up by silicon chips are not that unreal you know. I just felt I needed to say something on this matter after I have read it in the newspaper earlier just now.

Teenage gamer electrocuted

A news article, which I find very disturbing in a way. This boy electrocuted himself over a lecture his dad gave him in limiting internet access to 7 hours a day. It’s very sad to know such things happened especially in our own shores. Please do read the article for more information.
I remember I had my first computer when I was in primary school which is somewhere in the late 80s or very early 90s. Of coz at that, time internet was nowhere to be heard on our shores. Then as the years past, and I went on to college, I started hearing bout internet but did not know much, but use it occasionally. Then I learned about IRC and it all started. I then moved on to ICQ and I was online for at least 10 hours, and that is more than 10 years ago with no playstation.
Looking at the present, I have my work, games and internet I think it has not decreased. I work with a computer daily for a minimum of 8 hours. When I reach home, I will online for at least another 4 hours. Then I would like start my gaming experience for another 4 hours. It would be around 16 hours a day with the computer and console gaming for me on weekdays.
I guess this issue has caused some attention to the nation on online gaming and internet as well as console gaming. I can just imagine the reaction of our so-called parents’ community. I can see drastic move by the parent’s movement to control their kids. I guess kids in our nation will have to bear with nagging and restrictions on the number of hours you can get close to the computer or console. But the question is what actually happened. There is debate that they are too indulged in online gaming that is causing the problem. I do not deny that games and the internet are addictive, but does it have that much power to cause death.
I remember during my younger years, these kinds of things almost never happen, or even if it did, I did not know about it. During my time, even when I was very young at the age of about 10, gaming for 8 to 10 hours is a norm for me. But is these time, I was taught that knowledge is a key and studies is the material for making the key. Although I gamed very well, but I did not do badly in my studies too, though I did not improve at the length of my counterparts. I remember some rules were drawn as well as nagging too and of coz I do break the rules. But for my lack of respect to the rules, the results were counseling via the thin yellow bamboo strip called the “rotan” (cane). I can never imagine disrespecting their way of disciplining, or more appropriately the fear of going against them. but I can safely say now that I condone to their ways and I respect them for disciplining me the way they did. Though I might not be on the covers of the fortune magazine, but I am not in the papers of the media for rape, murder, arson or some other sick stuff like that.
I guess we have not taught the younger generation enough of they way to behave. What they are doing is just imitating what they encounter in their daily lives from the movies and their surrounding. I guess we have to start to instill the core values in them, which is to differentiate the good from the bad. Yes, they are young and may not comprehend, but then if you do not start telling them murder, rape and robbing are bad, then they would just think they are not bad. I believe many have been spoilt out there, getting whatever they want in a box wrapped with ribbons, having everything their ways even though it is wrong and other stuff like that.
I remember if I were to start a tantrum in the public if I din get to buy what I want, a good tight slap was the answer. Then I would cry which lead to me being ashamed because I was slapped in the public. During my time, it is shameful to be slapped in public, meaning I was a bad boy. But nowadays it seems that kids have been lavished with all kinds of stuff they want and if they do not get it they will find ways that make you pay for not doing so. I just do not know what is actually happening in this society of late. With so much of new stuff which I cannot comprehend. How I wish we could go back to when I was small and the cane would still be a disciplinary tool without the risk of being convicted a child abuser.
If you ask me, all these nonsense starts from home, if you do not start slapping and caning them for all the wrong doing. If you don’t start at home, where will you start. If you start saying they are young what do they know and let them hit, murder, rape all the neighbors and you still say they are young and do not know what is right and wrong, I am exaggerating here, but do you get the point, practice makes perfect, you know.
I have seen very well mannered child as well as those who plays hard but knows their limits. I would proudly say here that I would like to congratulate you for bringing your child up in such a good manner. I believe that if we continue neglecting our roles in their upbringing, the chaos will continue and it will get worse and believe me the number in ages for all these happenings will get smaller, as if all will be competing in the Guinness books of records for the youngest raper, murderer, and all these craps.

Save the children, save then through discipline,
Not spoil them with pampering

2 Expressions »

It’s currently 10 minutes pass 11 and darn, I am in the office. Why I have not gone home yet , you asked. I did, but then as duty calls, and this is a planned event, I had to come back to work at this ungodly hour. The ungodly hours have more to come, and I guess this is going to be a hell of a long night again for me. I guess I have nothing to complain bout as this is my job and this is the job that I chose to be involve with, which feeds my needs and a little of my wants as well.
I have already worked more than 8 hours since this morning and then now another predicted 8 hours of not so productive work. Why I didn’t do this in a godlier hour you say, well if I could I would have. Do you think I am this soul that could not live much of a life without torturing myself to the max… of coz not. It’s just that there are things that can only be done when all of you are asleep.
Enough bout that, sometimes I do wonder why am I stuck with such a job, other than the 8 hours daily work that I put in, I still need to be on standby anytime, anywhere. Why can’t I just settle for a job that specifies a working hour from 8 to 5 daily, and then don’t the freaking call me after 5 or before 8 on weekdays. I did thought about that but then I felt that my life is more towards the unpredictable so I chose to be in this IT line and work like a dog, with a dog’s pay too. I guess I just have this fetish of getting calls at ungodly hours and working my body, soul and mind non-stop continuously of unknown hours. I am freaky, what a freak…
I guess when I look back in the years to come; I want to be able to say I did it my way, working at least some years doing the things that I like and not because I had to do it. I suddenly realize that I have been doing this for 4 years and I guess what they say is right; age does catch up and slows you down even if you do not want to admit it. I guess I am no longer the undergrad who did not sleep for like 3 days consecutively just to finish a project and still feel like a brand new soul. I believe over the past 4 years my physical and mental tolerance has decreased tremendously. What seem to be bread and butter to me umpteen of years ago now seem so dreadful to try to relive it again, even partially. Cutting my shut eyes for like 2 hours daily has resulted in decrease in mental alertness and finally it turned to huge migraine this afternoon and then no I have not been getting any shut eyes for the last 12 hours and the later 20 hours or so. I guess I am not as I used to be 10 years ago, and I have to admit that I am getting old. You know what they always say, you will never feel it when you are young, but when you get older, all the thigns will surface. I guess I have to agree with it, as you age, you really start to reap the seed which you had sow. Like they say, when you are young, your engine is still new and powerful, but when your engine ages, the rust and the over revving which you have done in the earlier stage will prove to be irreparrable.
I think I am doing a very pointless entry here, as I do not know what is the gist of the things which I have typed. How shameful of me… shame shame shame. But then again I guess what I want to say is that we should do things that we want to do, do things that we are happy doing and not just for the sake of doing it. if you are doing a job of an engineer but all you wanted to do is just be a painter or something like that, then you will not be happy no matter what. We should treasure all the time that we have as they are short. You never know what’ll happen next year, next day, next hour, next minute or even next second. Why would you want to waste time doing something that makes you unhappy or just plain miserable? And of coz, do not overdo it at the expense of your physicals, as you may find that all the irrepairable parts of our physical will bring to the downfall of your mind and soul.

Do you want joy in every little thing that you do
Or
Do you wan misery in every little thing that you do

You have the make the choice…

It’s pass midnight now… and it’s not even half done… this is going to be a long long night
*sigh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am here sitting in my place in the office since 0745. I have not even managed to shut my eyes for a while. I need to finish up the report of the event I have done just now. I have not been sleeping and now I am still doing this pointless entry… where is my priorities…

2 Expressions »

I have been in these situations a number of times before during some of our drive outs to lunch thingee with colleagues. We were sitting in the car after our meals and driving back to the office, I was driving during these occasions.
One of these occasions was this lady came from this exit from a bridge which was on the right and she immediately swerved to the left where I was. She ignored me and stuck her head in my way which caused me to stop and she did it with no shame and thought it was her father’s road. I was actually going slow foreseeing what this mad lady wants to do, but my colleagues, especially the girls yelled and commented of how bad the lady driver was. But alas, we did not resort to swearing and showing of fingers as we do not condone that, and we normally do that when we are really really really really really pissed.
And then a conversation sparked even between us in the car. Are men generally more patience than women? It’s like generally men when driving and slammed with these kinda situation, will actually be patience enough and not start swearing and stuff, unless of coz they are faced with a beast where the driver kinda swerve left and right and almost hitting everyone on the road. But then in these situations, the guy would just cool off and sigh.
My colleagues were saying that their husbands and boyfriends can still keep cool in situation on the road where they would get pissed off. As for me, I do have my bad side of the soul, but then when my good side is shining, I would just sigh and shakes my head *tsk tsk tsk*. That’s about it. Why would I want to risk rupturing my arteries when these twerps don’t value their life… Unless you little twerps decide to kiss me from any angles, then I might just start swearing and killing someone. Other than that I guess I m cook with it.
Well some may say it must be pretentious, acting all gentlemen in front of the ladies and stuff, but then again, how many times can you act gentlemen. I know everyone, not only men, but women as well, pretends especially when meeting others for the first time. It’s the mask we all wear outside of our shell. I don’t know, but I am a grumpy and quite bad tempered at times, but then I have been labeled by other as ““happy go lucky”. I might be sad or down or unhappy or angry, but then I always resent from showing it. I just like to make people around me feel happy and jolly. I guess when I see others happy, I feel the happiness seeping inside my soul and thus kicking out my sorrows and anger.
In my opinion, every one is pretentious to a certain extend. As for patience levels, I believe every one has their so call bursting level. And I guess may be men are a little more tolerant in the level factor or they just do not express them openly, unlike for women, whom will express their emotions more comfortably. I do find that especially during jams, men do have a higher level of patience than women. What’s your say?

No Expressions »

The closest thing to crazy

How can I think I’m standing strong,
Yet feel the air beneath my feet?
How can happiness feel so wrong?
How can misery feel so sweet?
How can you let me watch you sleep,
Then break my dreams the way you do?
How can I have got in so deep?
Why did I fall in love with you?

CHORUS:
This is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been
Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen,
This is the nearest thing to crazy I have ever known,
I was never crazy on my own:
And now I know that there’s a link between the two,
Being close to craziness and being close to you.

How can you make me fall apart
Then break my fall with loving lies?
It’s so easy to break a heart;
It’s so easy to close your eyes.
How can you treat me like a child
Yet like a child I yearn for you?
How can anyone feel so wild?
How can anyone feel so blue?

CHORUS

The song is sung by Katie Melua and was introed to me by Winnie. The first time I listened to it which is this afternoon, I almost tear-ed in the office. It brought back some memories that were some what sweet and sour. The song is just so, how you say true in so many ways, well at least to me.
It’s just so hard learning all the fundamental and experimenting with love, and then just to find out that it cuts deep and the would almost never heals. The scar that remains refreshes our memories of all the good times and also the not so good times. The way of life is just mystical and unpredictable.

We spend so much time, all our time, learning to love…
But in the end we learn that love hurts deeper than any physical hurt…
Is it all worth it, or is it not?

2 Expressions »

OK… I thought I would put this thing at rest and leave it to the news to reveal the truth, (fat chance). Now I know that I am not really the person that should be talking about it but this is just outrageous. You know this mms thingee bout this fair lady doing ear squat in the nude, now they are saying that they already know bout this before and the one who revealed this was to be blamed.
This is just screwed! Screwed I tell you! This Noh fella is telling that they already know bout this matter and they are doing an “underground” investigation to resolve this matter. However, they say the opposition party brought it to the nations eyes and he now accuses them for defaming the nation and the country. I say screw you man. Did you even hear the comment flying out there in the streets and in the air waves? I bet if you did, you would have noticed that dozens of people have been treated this way. If you are the know it all, then you should have curbed this thing long ago, ages ago. And it should never have happened, mr know it all.
Do you think that society is blind and they just succumb to your comments and statements. They do think as well, and if you ask me, the law enforcers ranks very high in the hate list and abusers lists. Even if you are doing the investigations, how long would it take, and would it even be revealed to the public. Or is it that it should be kept in the dark as if nothing happened so the image of the forces is not tarnished? And then the abusing can continue because it’s not publicly known?
I am just very disappointed that we they are blaming each other of the image perceived by outsiders bout our country rather than trying to solve the issue at hand. I know we have an image to keep be it the country or the law enforcers but then again, blaming each other is not going to do any good. If you do not want other to know the best is not to do it. If you have done something, how to cover up? It will definitely be known to other sooner or later. Imagine if you cover this up and then later to be found out, I would say it would be atrocious!
I guess time is needed to build back the image of the country and I guess even more time to rebuild the trust of society in law enforcers. This is not easy to do, definitely, but still we have to try. Let us try to rebuild a better society so we can live in a better society later. I guess it’s hard to build up an image and so much harder to rebuild after it has been tarnished.

No Expressions »

First of all a big congratulations to Nicol David for being the first Malaysian, the first Asian and the youngest champion of the world squash open championship in Hong Kong. It is indeed news to cheer about in spite of the negative issues that has been clouding our daily front pages of the newspapers lately. On another sports note, our proud country Malaysia bagged 61 gold, 50 silver, 64 bronze with a whooping total of 175 medals. I guess sports are picking up in the country and it’s been given some light to it.

I guess our society has been improving on many things. I still remember when the elderly souls used to forbid sports among their off springs. The ongoing debate during those times, which I think would be bout 20 years ago. From what I know, and from the lips of these elderly, it was like a war in the family if any of the member were to career themselves in sports. It’s like indulging in arts and making a career even now.

I guess the mindset of yesteryear regarding arts and sports were as it’s a waste of time. You may be excellent in sports or arts but you will never be recognized. Arts in their mind, are like the early painters where they will only get famous and recognized when they have moved on from this reality. Their work was never worth a penny when they were around, but then when they are gone… their work suddenly become collectors’ items and shoot up in price higher than gold. The same thing goes for sports as well. There were always stories bout past athletes who could not make it through life as they could no longer keep up as a sportsman or sportswoman. Sad sad stories I tell you, sad sad sad.

I guess the turning point in the history of sports would be the winning of the Thomas cup by Misbun Sidek. Then it was badminton everywhere you go and sports was being monitored. After sometime, sports made it in the list of one of the treasured career in the country. I still remember every one around me was like a badminton fanatic during those times. Then it was football. Now it’s gonna be squash. Everyone wants to be like the king and queen of the certain sports that has brought fame to the country.

I guess it’s a healthy way for them to do such idolizing. At least they would work out, play the games, and further reduce the number of obesity in the community. I doubt there would be another Misbun or Nicol in the very near future, but then perseverance does get things accomplished. May be there would be other superstars of sports that will be born soon in our country.

I guess sports have come a long way to be recognized and then be a career for some elite persons. However, can they really live on sports? I guess, to me, knowledge still comes first. I mean if you are good in something, go ahead and indulge in it but do not neglect other things such as studies. From my point of view, sports may be a career, but then how long can it be a career for a particular person. Everyone out there is improving and definitely new stars are born day in and day out.

I guess the nation is proud of her achievements and another congratulation would not even suffice. All the best to her in her journey to becoming world ranking number 1. I think we will be seeing more attention given to sports as the years to come and with the amount of prize money and stuffs like that, it would definitely be a career to indulge in.

The question is would you want your off springs to indulge sports and make it a career?
Would you encourage them into sports or may be even train them or force them into sports?

No Expressions »

“My hand is so fucking long”…

For those who know me, it would come as a surprise… I normally don’t use words such as “fuck” and stuff. I refrain from doing that because it’s not nice to swear. Well I am not saying all those others out there swearing is bad but then I just do not condone to such ways of expressions. I hope no one gets offended…

Those words were uttered by a girl, in public, more specifically, in a supermarket in 1U. The girl looks to me like somewhere between 12 to 14 years old. The max I would give her would be 15. I was standing there minding my own business when she tried putting on a long sleeve shirt outside the fitting room, and she was saying those words to her younger sister! Well I am not saying it’s wrong to communicate with your siblings, but does the communication has to come to this kind of language. I don’t think she got it from her teachers in school.

What I think I want to point out is that our youngsters nowadays are really picking up fast. I remember I was young, even though I knew the words, but I was still very picky of the situations to use them. It was like a very notorious or uneducated thing to do, especially in public. I remember being slapped just for uttering the word “fuck” or other such words, no matter what language they are in.

I remember something that Mrs Ramani thought me during my school days. She was my English teacher. She told me that the word “fuck” meant woo, and it was used mostly during the medieval times. At that time they need to woo the girl of their dreams and then to get married to with them. Well that is what she has told me and then now it has been used to terms that we all know, a vulgar word to show anger, disgust, etc.

I guess society is changing, and changing fast. Faster than I can comprehend. May be I am just outdated, an antique brain in a shell of the present. I still do not think that we should in any way use these vulgarities to anyone or even anything for that matter. No matter how much they deserve it. but then again, there are just times when you just blow your top and start screaming like a psychopathic maniac and starts cursing every damn thing in your line of sight or not. I cannot deny it, as I myself have done that, but I do try to control and refrain from doing such deeds.

To me, I consider this a social illness, unless if you say, the future that we foresee will officially consider insulting, angering, belittling and other degrading stuff to be the main communication language between human beings. Wait a minute, I think it already has, the word “fuck” might just be the most used word in the world, and understood by the most community in the world…

I don’t know, but I guess I don’t like people to curse me or something like that, so I try not to curse other as the saying goes, “don’t do to other what you don’t want others do unto you”. I mean imagine you start an argument or something and you start cursing, the other person might stop for a second and try to refrain, but as you continue definitely you will start to curse back. Then it would go on and on and on… until the end, it might just turn out to be a fist fight or may be a cat fight. I guess this is the way, the human’s way of interacting…

Just imagine, when you have off springs, and they come to you saying, “dad/mum, what the fuck is that animal/thing/or whatever?” What would you answer? That fucking what ever is a … or if you are like me or any of my school teachers or my elderly members of the family, a good tight slap would be the answer. If you do not believe me on this, just try to ask you parent’s something like “what the fuck are you doing?” I guess you would know the answer right after you finish your question. It’s just freaking disrespectful. Oh, believe me, that is definitely the things I will do, as I do not tolerate disrespectfulness, and definitely not vulgarities, especially to elderly people.

I am not saying I am right or that the girl is wrong. But if know the limits and of coz never pass down the bad habits to younger generation. If any one of your elder smokes, they don’t go around telling you smoking is good. They might even tell you it’s bad and do not follow their footsteps and start smoking. I guess the same thing applies here.

Learn both good and bad
Practice only the good
Teach only the good

5 Expressions »

My love, my playstation 2. I have been and still am an extreme gamer, but of coz not the hardcore play it until you win the World Cyber Games kinda gamer. I am the type that most people would not get into, which is gaming for bout 8 to 10 hours per session. And that also because my parents are back from work and they need to use the box to watch Astro.

Playstation 2 is my latest gaming console apart from the previous consoles which I have and am still very much alive, though not really utilized. I bought 11 titles of games during the Deeparaya holidays and then I bought another 9 yesterday. Altogether now I have 2 titles to finish. Some may say who in the right mind would do such a thing and hey, you have one here, a live specimen. I managed to finish the game “God Of War” in 3 days. And I am still pursuing the other games, which I can say is fun but yet frustrating sometimes.

I guess the kid in me is still very much alive. I guess one of the main reasons for me to indulge in games is mainly the technology behind it. First of all would be the console itself. Games have come along way since the blocky graphics and until now the extra fine and life like graphics. Even my PS2 now is considered antique with the new Xbox 360 and PS3 in the market. I am a fan of great Computer Graphics. Anything less would make a game less fun to play. Imagine playing a game of tennis with a block line in the middle and 2 long sticks at each side that bounce back a round object. And then imagine all those in a monotonous color for say beige with black background. If you can imagine it then you must have know the Atari or CBS game console.

I am into all kinds of genres in games, from action to horror, racing to sports, RPG to puzzles, but the main point to it must be, graphics. The revolution is definitely a merry song in the soul of gamers.

Actually I have heard so much even around my group of friends. Most of my friends are non gamers or very light gamers. They are the ones that settle for solitaire in windows XP. Some do not even know anything other than the big machine that feed on 20 cents coins, which I guess now upgraded to 50 cents or more. Well I guess everyone has their own meat and definitely my meat is poison to them.

I have heard some arguments last time which I guess I want to share. I’ve got some avid gamers which has their own consoles and some whom wished to own one but out of some circumstances could not. One of the common ones would be their spouse would not let them get one. And their reason… if you start gaming, you ignore me and just sit there and with your games all day long. Then comes the rebuttal… well at least you know where he is, rather than him staying out everyday denying you the knowledge what he is up to.

Think about it, if the guy is at home playing games but ignoring you once a while, it’s actually not that bad. He is actually staying home, under your supervision. Imagine if he is out everyday, what is he doing, and definitely how much is he spending outside. If he stays home at least he is saving money rather than spending outside. Even the teh tarik needs money. A good way to save money I guess.

I guess for a gamer, the priced possessions would be the console. If you are deprived of your console, what would you do? Imagine not able to play games, what would you do?

If you are depriving someone of the freedom to game, why are you doing that? Is gaming that harmful in your context?

Let the game begins. Let there be game freaks like me.

No Expressions »

This is just outrageous. Out of a sudden I get al these mails to ask me to moderate all these comments. At first I thought it might be some bug as I did not turn on moderation, but then when I checked I found out that I have been spammed. Damn! Double damn! Triple damn!

You spammers have nothing else to do izzit? If that is the case why not try something useful or beneficial like learning some good stuff or whatever. Just don’t come and make my life difficult. It’s not funny to first get spammed in my mailbox and then have to delete all your spam comments.

Am I the only one having this problem? Does any one else have the same problem? If yes please let me know and better still if you have solved it or manage to deters these freaks from spamming. Gosh I am blurrified.

Leave me alone ok, you no good spammers…

No Expressions »