You know there are times when you were like bummed. Not knowing what life means. Not knowing what is the reason for breathing everyday. Not knowing the significance of your own presence in this world.
It’s like walking along side the road and then suddenly a giant don’t-know-what-it-looks-like monster popped out from no where and starts destroying things within your vicinity. I know this may sounds like stupid or insane but then you never know… some toxic waste products. I think I’m just going out of my mind… and a lot too.
Imagine that you life in a world full of surprises… where ultraman is not just a guy in a suit where you can see the zip on his back. I may not sound cool when there’s like monsters destroying things here and there, but then got ultraman weiiiiii.
Another one would be this Gaban heroes or something like that. They can change to like bug eyed heroes just by waving their hands… how cool is that. You know I have this so called dream… to change into like ultraman or any one of this bug eye heroes. Of course it’s like so cool and like you can impress girls of all ages… but then I’m not suppose to tell no. What a turn off disadvantage man.
You see I am young, I am a kid, I am a pure and clean sheet of white paper. You can scribble, you can draw or you can even paint, but it all reflects and it’s all visible in the end. However of course when it comes to a stage, I will have my eraser, liquid paper or anything that I can get my hands on to clean off unwanted smudges. We all do that, believe me, you do too. Believe me, and if you tell me know, it’s just a delusion that you have within yourself and your conscience, but then again I will not question that.
In this process itself, you know the erasing and scrubbing of the smudges, all the hard work and effort we might put in may only remove a small part if not any. If we are persistent enough we may cover it up with other colours or if you force your way through you may even tear a hole in it. Now tell me how’s your piece of paper doing or if you would your white canvas.
My so called canvas has some colourful abstract like images here and there. But in between these images, there are lots of holes if not waiting to tear at the slightest pulling of any sort. My canvas has become so fragile over the years or was is just within a few years? Of course for those that really want to scrutinized the work done on my canvas, there’s also a lot of holes here and there. You will notice how some areas have been painted brightly and then covered or surrounded by dark gloomy patches and then overlaid with other colours and so forth.
You know, the handle with care sign on my canvas just never does what it is suppose to do. You are suppose to handle it with care… can’t you read the words, if I’d put it as a design it would not be so freaking tidy and in block. Nevertheless, my canvas is still on display… to be worked on, by everyone… even if you tore it earlier.
May be I should just keep my canvas.
May be I should just tear it apart myself.
May be you could tear it up for me.
May be you want to patch it up for me…
