Impact Of A Soul To A Soul From A Soul

My steed played tantrum on me again today… my precious steed. I am frustrated, not because it got naughty, but because I did not pay enough attention to it. I should have known that there was something wrong when I notice sometimes during heavy rain water seeps through into my car.

Yesterday rained like someone pouring a bathtub of water overhead. I braved the rain yesterday and ended up wetting my whole pants… all the way up to my thighs, even when I used an umbrella. Today it was worse. If yesterday’s rain was like a bath tub of water, today’s rain or rather just now was like the big water reservoir for an entire housing area was poured down over the head.

I did not brave the rain today and stay in the office until the rain subsided. Then I went to my steed, got in and noticed there was water. I was inspecting and suddenly the window came down… I could do nothing, nothing at all. I tried to wind up back up, but to no avail and as the rain started again, I drove my steed inside the building and I had to fix it. With the help of a colleague, I managed to get the window up but I caused much pain to my steed.

I graciously thanked my colleague. I did not feel like going home as the jam was getting so bad and I can see from my office as the cars are at a stand still. I do not blame my steed for what happened, but I fear, I really fear that I might cause more pain or lose my steed one day.

I love my steed, and it will be wholly mine when I finish my loan in coming countable months. You know they say when you finish your loan, and then it’s like time to change… sadly to say… I just do not have the heart to do so, not even when it played tantrum on me.

I just love my steed too much to part from it… not at the moment, may be not ever. My steed has been loyal to me all this while and it has been there for me all these year. All the joy and happiness that it shared with me, all the sadness and sorrow that we’ve been through, it’s no longer just a car… it’s my only companion. The countless smile and laughter, my tears and sorrows, you witness my last tears too.

I will need to go with you to the doctor tomorrow… we’ll get through this together… we will, no doubt. We’ll go home later when the jam lessens so you can rest until tomorrow. You’ll be alright my noble steed, you’ll be in good hands.

8 Expressions »

Click here… to listen to the song

Song – Heart Of Gold
Artist – Neil Young

I want to live,
I want to give
I’ve been a miner
For a heart of gold
It’s these expressions
I never give

That keeps me searching
For a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.
Keeps me searching
For a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.

I’ve been to Hollywood
I’ve been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean
For a heart of gold
I’ve been in my mind,
It’s such a fine line

That keeps me searching
For a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.
Keeps me searching
For a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.

Keep me searching
For a heart of gold
You keep me searching
For a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.
I’ve been a miner
For a heart of gold

A heart of gold is what I’ve been mining for. I’ve found some, I’ve stumbled upon some, and I’ve been given some. But none of them seems to stay. Does it even exist?

Where can I find the heart of gold?
Where do I mine?
Have you found a heart of gold?
I yearn for the heart of gold
I yearn to have a heart of gold
I’m searching…
I’m still searching…

10 Expressions »

Bunnywunny left a comment sometime ago regarding the clown. I’ve been wanting to write about this but then I thought again and again. The significance of the clown in our everyday life.

The question that I would like to ask to you is have you ever seen a clown cry?

I have not, unless if they have taken of the suit and stuff like that then it’s a different story, but then again I still have not because I do not know of anyone who dress up as a clown as a profession.

Do not take me as putting them down… they are actually doing one of the world greatest job. I salute them. I do not have the qualities to become a clown even if I wanted to. To me they are in a profession, an entertainment profession that actually serves the people and humanity more than any other performers, to me at least.

They are the ones that make us feel like smiling or laughing even when we are down and out. I believe that no matter what age we are, there is the kid inside us that totally adore the clown. He is the person that could cheer us up and give us the smile and laughter that we deprive ourselves of. I would say that the clown will not fail to try to entertain us, no matter how down and low we are, they will still try to do something to just make those stubborn little muscles move to form a smile.

However, ultimately, do we know what exactly are they feeling inside? Of course you will always see the big smile and brightly coloured clothes outside, but what is inside. He may make you smile, not knowing of your past, of the things you have gone through, but he still try to make you smile or laugh.

The truth is that, we have never pondered inside their heart, their soul. They are like us, humans too, they have emotions and they too feel sad, down and low. However they are still doing what they do best, getting people to smile and laugh despite the fact that they may be crying in vain inside. The fact that I am saying this is in this world today, there are not much of such clowns around. Go figure this out… I think you get what I mean

I am definitely no clown, definitely not me, I was only labeled as the pastor. All of my friends call me happy go lucky, may be there’s a few exception…. you know.

I do not think I can ever be a clown as it is such a holy thing to do… putting smiles and laughter in all those who walks pass him one way or another. I can only do my best to etch smile and laughter on your face, and if possible smile and laugh with you.

Bunnywunny, I don’t think I’m a clown, or may be not a good one may be… but I did consider being one though.

I smile and laugh
Though it hurts
Just to see you smile or laugh
From within
I really wish
For you to smile or laugh
From the very soul of you

20 Expressions »

Click here… to listen to the song

Artist – Ray Peterson
Song – Corrina Corrina

I love Corrina, tell the world I do
I love Corrina, tell the world I do
I pray every night she’d learn to love me too

Corrina, Corrina
Corrina, Corrina
Corrina, Corrina
I love you so

Oh little darling where you’ve been so long?
Oh little darling where you’ve been so long?
I ain’t had no loving since you’ve been gone

Corrina, Corrina
Corrina, Corrina
Corrina, Corrina
I love you so

I left Corrina way across the sea
Oh me, I left Corrina way across the sea
If you see Corrina send her home to me

Corrina, Corrina
Corrina, Corrina
Corrina, Corrina
I love you so

Corrina, Corrina
Corrina, Corrina
Corrina, Corrina
I love you so
Oh darling don’t you know
I love you so

Oh Darling
Don’t you know
I love you so
I love you so
So very much

*sniff sniff*

6 Expressions »

I did not really sleep well yesterday. After I shutdown all the component and the laptop I laid down. Then I felt excruciating pain on my lower back right through to front of my stomach. I tried to got up and it was gone but then when I lie down again the excruciating pain came back… this is so freaking weird and painful.

Alright, may be that was just part of the reason for me being a double black eyes panda and not one… and it’s just painful. I had to suppress and force myself to lie down even when the pain was devastating. I could swear that I was either going to fall asleep in two piece or wake up in two piece or might not even wake up.

I know it’s stupid but hey, my mind does not seem to stop working anymore. It just keep on going like Energizer or Duracell batteries, keeps going and going and going. I don’t know if it’s the pain or the thoughts… but I guess both of them is good in making me sleepless, especially when they pair up to be partners in crime.

When there are thoughts
There may be pain and sorrow
There may be joy and happiness
When there is joy and happiness
There may be thoughts
When there is pain
There’s definitely thoughts

18 Expressions »

Mary lived with her step mother after the passing of her father. Mary is a beautiful girl and very good and hand crafts. She makes beautiful dolls, all handmade. Mary did not really get much opportunity to study as during her time, the industrial era, studying was meant more for the rich and also to boys most of the time.

The dolls that Mary makes are so beautiful that it enchants most everyone that looks at them. Her mother who works as a factory worker, did not make much money. When she discovered that the dolls that Mary makes have potential, she took a few of them and brought it to one of the toy store a few streets from their home. At first the owner was skeptical, but then once he held the dolls at hand, he knew that it was different. The owner made a deal with the woman, he will put the dolls in the shop and if it gets sold then he will pay her. Agreed to the terms, she left all 5 dolls made by Mary in the store and promised to come back in a week’s time.

Bruce walked by the store one day to look for a birthday present for his niece, who’s going to be 3. Bruce is a well known gentleman in the area as he is a doctor and of course he is nice.

Good morning doctor Bruce… looking for anything?
Yes, I’m looking for something for my niece, do you have any recommendations?
Well you can have a look at the dolls over there, they are handmade.

Bruce took one of the dolls and immediately felt there’s something different bout the doll. They were hand made to perfection. Every detail on the doll was made perfectly and no one is the same. All the dolls portrayed happiness and joy. He quickly bargained with the store owner, but the price was high, but Bruce felt it was worth it and paid the man.

One day, Mary went to see Bruce as she has been sick. After diagnosing Mary, Bruce came to the conclusion that she may be just tired. He found nothing wrong with Mary and gave her some vitamins. After a week, Mary went back to see Bruce and her condition worsened. She could not eat and her face was so pale, there was as though no life in her. Bruce diagnosed her thoroughly again, but he found no evidence or any trace that she was sick. Bruce was puzzled and he did not know what to do. Then he noticed a doll sitting quietly in her widely opened bag.

Can I have a look at the doll?
Yes doctor

Although the doll looks different, but he knew instantly that it resembled the one he bought a few weeks ago. The hand craft and the details though it’s different, but he knew she was the one who made them, all of them. After Mary left, Bruce was still puzzled as he could not figure out what was the problem with Mary. Then the next week he got a call from Mary’s mother asking him if he would make a house call and he obliged. To his surprise when he reached, he found Mary sitting there slowly making another doll. Again he could not find out what was wrong with Mary. He searched his memory in hopes to find a reason for this illness but he could not.

As the day passed, Bruce fell sick too. At first he thought he was overwork as he tries to find a cure for Mary. But after a while he found out that his symptoms resemble those of Mary. He tried to look for Mary but then he found out that she and her mother moved.

Bruce’s conditioned worsened, then he realized something, he was in love, in love with the girl who made those beautiful dolls, in love with Mary. When he started helping and diagnosing her illness, he had unknowingly fallen in love with her. He finally figured out what was wrong with him. He now knew what was wrong with Mary.

He searched for Mary for days, but to no avail. He knew he needed to talk to Mary before it’s too late. Then he remembers the toy store and asked the owner if he knew where they had moved to. It was another dead end as Mary’s mother would just drop the dolls there and come back to collect the money and drop off more dolls in a week’s time. Then he told Bruce that she would be coming the next day as it was a week ago that she came to the store.

The next day Bruce waited and the lady appeared. After collecting the money and dropped off more dolls, she hurried back and Bruce followed her. Bruce knew that she would not let him see Mary, so he followed and found out where they lived. He waited until she went out again before going up to look for Mary. Mary looked worse than before.

Mary… Mary… I know what is going on… I know why you are sick
Doctor Bruce… what… what do you mean?
You feel empty, all your beloved has been taken away… that is why you are sick
I don’t understand…
You dolls, they are everything to you. They are like you loved ones. When they are taken away from you… a part of you is being taken away too. There nothing wrong with your body, it’s your heart… it’s dying from love.
How do you know doc…
Because… because… I’m sick too, because you have been taken away from me…

The dolls were all that Mary had, she invested all her love in making each and every one of the doll. When they were taken away from her, a part of her goes with the doll. Her heart was sick and not her body. All her love was taken away from her, one by one, day by day. She had nothing to cling on… and so did Bruce. He feel in love with Mary and when he did not see her and then was deprived the knowledge of even where she was, he was heart sick. He needed to find Mary and tell her that he loved her and be with her, saving her from all the heartache. This is not a story that I wrote from my working mind, it’s actually a story which I studied as part of my literature class in school. I remembered it, and I remembered most of them. This is the recollection of the story, of coz the names and the story line may be a little different but the message… I’ll let you tell me about it

The danger of giving is as such…
Giving all the love I could give…
Expecting nothing in return…
Finally I knew why I have been sick
Will you make a difference in my life
Will I collapse this way?
Are you the one that will safe me?
Will you safe me?

8 Expressions »

Click here… to listen to the song

Artist – Elvis Presley
Song – Wooden Heart

Can’t you see
I love you
Please don’t break my heart in two
That’s not hard to do
‘Cause I don’t have a wooden heart
And if you say goodbye
Then I know that I would cry
Maybe I would die
‘Cause I don’t have a wooden heart
There’s no strings upon this love of mine
It was always you from the start
Treat me nice
Treat me good
Treat me like you really should
‘Cause I’m not made of wood
And I don’t have a wooden heart

Muss i denn, muss i denn
Zum Stadtele hinaus
Stadtele hinaus
Und du, mein schat, bleibst hier?

There’s no strings upon this love of mine
It was always you from the start
Sei mir gut
Sei mir gut
Sei mir wie du wirklich sollst
Wie du wirklich sollst
‘Cause I don’t have a wooden heart

Listen to the lyrics
And you shall listen to my heart
I don’t have a wooden heart
Not before, not now, not in the future

8 Expressions »

Click here… to listen to the song…

Song – You Are Not Alone
Artist – Micheal Jackson

Another day has gone
I’m still all alone
How could this be
You’re not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you’re far away
I am here to stay

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart
You are not alone

Alone, alone
Why, alone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you’re far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
And I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words
And I’ll come runnin’
And I, girl you know that I’ll be there
I’ll be there

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though you’re far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart

For you are not alone
(You are not alone)
For I am here with you
(I am here with you)
Though you’re far away
(Though you’re far away)
(You and me)
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
(You are always in my heart)
For I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart

You know when there are times that you think that you are alone and there is no one in the world that understands you or could even love you… think again. There are times when I feel alone and of course I like it sometimes as it is my time for me, but then again in that context, I’m not really alone… I’m with myself, my soul, so how can I be alone.

I am not really a saint or for all you know I might just be an average guy if not a crook hanging around on the internet. Listen to the song and the lyrics and feel what my heart is feeling. The innermost feelings that I want to pour out… but I can’t, I really can’t. Often times we are selfish, but there are times when we aren’t and when this happens, there does not seem to be a soul that understands… Believe men when I say not a soul understands but our own.

Sometimes I seriously do not know what I have written…

You are not alone
You will not be alone
You will never be alone
Just whisper…
You are not alone

12 Expressions »

Song – Come Out And Play
Artist – Offspring

Like the latest fashion
Like a spreading disease
The kids are strappin’ on their way to the classroom
Getting weapons with the greatest of ease
The gangs stake their own campus locale
And if they catch you slippin’ then it’s all over pal
If one guy’s colors and the other’s don’t mix
They’re gonna bash it up
Hey - man you talkin’ back to me?
Take him out
You gotta keep’em separated
Hey - man you disrespecting
Take him out
You gotta keep’em separated
Hey they don’t pay no mind
If you’re under 18 you won’t be doing any time
Hey come out and play
By the time you hear the siren
It’s already too late
One goes to the morgue and the other to jail
One guy’s wasted and the other’s a waste
it goes down the same as the thousand before
No one’s getting smarter
No one’s learning the score
Your never ending spree of death and violence and hate
Is gonna tie your own rope

Click here… to listen to the song, but I must warn that this is a more toward rock and it’s loud and noisy so its not everyone’s favourite.

I have been bitchy today and yes guys can be bitchy too. I don’t know why, I can seem to control myself one minute and the next I’m Mr Hyde. I have good laugh in all the intervals today and that made me all the better but then… it’s still inside me, something bad.

I know the song is about differences… I think you get the idea. I have no such differences nor will I have that, but then my blood is rushing all over. I feel I’m losing control of my anger. I do not wish so but sometimes it’s just so hard to control.

I could really kill or be killed now… The feeling is just taking over my very soul.

Come out and play and don’t hide…
Why do I have these thoughts…
Oh please stop me someone…

10 Expressions »

This is actually dedicated to Ah Sim… yes you darling…
I think this is a dedication gift to you and you have my blessings for that special day next month ok! Happiness always…

Oh my brave prince, you are here finally…
Yes my fair princess, I am here, and I will get you out of this dungeon.

The prince hurriedly opened the dungeon door with the key he got from one of his most loyal servants. The prince held his princess close to him grasping her hand ever so tightly as if she would just fade away the next minute. They groped in the dark dungeons, which was only lighted by a few torches. As they groped to the entrance of the dungeon, the prince could hear the sound of a guard, walking towards them. He quickly covered the princess’s mouth and asked her not to utter a word. Then he led her to the darkest area of there so they would not be seen. The guard, like many other guards just which are not observant, just walks past them and headed deep inside the dungeon.

The prince did not realize that he had taken so much time venturing and looking for his beloved princess. Now he has got less time go get out of the country’s vicinity before the guard sounds the alarm that the princess has escaped. He hurriedly pulled the princess by her hand and brought her out the entrance and they could smell the air of freedom in the air. The fresh night air blowing in their way refreshed them, especially the princess whom was thrown in to the dungeon several days ago.

We’ve got to get out of this place… they do not understand us.
Yes my prince… though I am saddened to leave but I cannot see this bloodshed because of us and neither could I not see you my prince.
I’m saddened too… to leave this place, my country, my heir, but I cannot live without you my beloved princess.
Then let’s go…

As they thread along the meadow not for from the dungeon, they heard the sound of alarm. It alerted all the guard in the vicinity to search for the escaped princess. They could hear the loud sound of the drums beats signifying the alarm has been set off. Soon after that they heard the thundering sound of the hooves of the palace horses. They knew the guard would soon get to them, so they decided to take the other way towards sea.

As they thread along the woods towards the shore, they could hear voices not far behind them…

Where are they?
Where did they go?
This way…
There are fresh tracks here…
This way, they must have gone this way…

They quickly hasten their steps in hope to reach the shores before they were caught. As they struggle to get to the shore, the princess fell and fractured her left leg. She begged her beloved prince to leave her behind but he just carried her on his back and they reached the shores. As the prince carried his love down the beach, they heard some voices shouting… “there they are, let’s get them, down there by the shores”

The prince was exhausted and dropped down on the sandy shore hurting both his knees while still carrying the princess. They knew they could not run anymore nor could they go any where else. The prince asked his beloved princess…

Are you ready? Ready to leave all this behind?
Yes my love. They should be no barriers to our love, not even our fathers the kings.
Then we shall leave all this behind… we shall live as we like… like lovers in love…
Yes my dear prince, let us leave this all behind dwell in love… our love.

The prince forcefully got up and carried the princess into the ocean. As the waves hit them concurrently a loud cry could be heard…

My prince… where are you going… come back at once
My princess… what are you doing… I demand you to come back at once
Your country will pay dearly for imprisoning my princess
Your country will be obliterated if anything is to happen to my prince

Hearing these conversations coming from two neighbouring kingdoms rulers set them in tears. How could these rulers be so selfish? How could they not think of their kingdom and just declared war… how could someone who rules their kingdom be so selfish?

Oh dear fathers, our king, our ruler… stop and ponder for a moment. We are truly in love and to separate us will kill us, don‘t you see that. Why can’t we have love between our kingdoms and not war. We have decided to be together and there is nothing that anyone can do to stop us. I’m sorry father… but I do not want to live in misery and regret the rest of my life… Please give me your blessings if you ever can forgive me, forgive us.
I’m sorry father… your princess will not be able to take care of you anymore. Please forgive me, please forgive us. And please no more war… no bloodshed should befall our kingdom or others, be it because of me or my beloved prince or anything. I hope peace and love will prevail…
Goodbye…
Goodbye…

The prince held up a bottle of bright colour liquid, shining through the bottle. He gave held it against his princess to drink and then he drank the rest of the liquid. A bright light shone from their direction and everyone was blinded for a while.

When the light disappeared, they were shocked to see a pair of white dolphins jumping in the air a little farther than where the prince and princess was last seen. It was as if they were jumping for joy and saying goodbye to everyone… wishing peace and love. The pair of dolphins were white as snow, but they realized that there were a patch of blood red near the left fin of one of the dolphin. The other white as snow too had 2 patches of red like blood on the lower part near the fins too. They realized that they have changed into the white dolphins.

After a while as both kingdom watches in amazement of what happened, they jumped in the air for one last time, the highest signifying their thanks, gratitude and love for all… before they swam away into the ocean. Now they are free, bound by no laws or family. They are free to love each other and be together. Forever… leaving behind humanity… only to live in their reality of love forever…

If you happen to see white dolphins, white as snow, it might be the prince and his beloved princess. As for the two kingdoms, what do you think happened after this?
Humanity is suppose to be kind and civilized, but it can turn out to be so selfish and barbaric.

I just feel like leaving humanity…
I just feel like being free…

15 Expressions »