Impact Of A Soul To A Soul From A Soul

I’m not sure if I’m a nut or what. This happened last weekend. Went uphill to Genting last week, not once, but twice. Went for a drink in there and then came back and worked the next day. Another trip after work and put a night there.

It seems to me that nothing much has changed, and yet, so much has changed. It’s ironic too, I know. The weather does not really seem that cold anymore from when I was there ten or even twenty years ago.

One day I went up to just have a chat and a drink, then the next day, went for a meal or two and chat and then sleep. I do not really find the place that interesting from the previous experiences but then the company did make a difference.

That night we just ate, went for a walk and then got back to the room and bath. After that we watched some stuff on the laptop and then went to sleep. Well, basically we just slept as we were tired from working. The next morning went downhill to have dim sum and then I had dinner with my family.

How things changed.
How time changed.

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I’m not sure if this will clear things up or will it cause more confusion but then, I guess I should talk about it, as I did mention that I will. I’ll try to do this briefly as this has been and is still happening for the past well, 10 or so years.

I have black or dark hair which is soft. It does not stand up to much styling and even if it does, it does not for long. That is one reason for the liking to keep it long. My hair is straight too and well, first glance, people will always ask me if I have done rebonding before. Hence this is why my hair has been growing longer and longer if situation permits. I find it easier to manage as I don’t even look in the mirror before going out to work. No need to comb and slab a chunk of gel or whatever sticky thing on my hair.

I do not remember what sparked the long hair style but it was like who has the longest hair during my school days. We weren’t allowed to keep long hair back then, but somehow we did manage to keep it long, hiding it with all sorts of method. After that when I was doing my degree, I had more flexibility and so my hair grew with me that time, until the back. I was a student leader back then during my school days and degree pursuing days so I get comments from everywhere. But I think they misunderstood me, totally.

Well incidents that happen are when people you know and are quite close like the uncles living near your house. He is one of the hawker stall owner and he once came to me from behind and asked me, “Miss, can I collect your bowl”. I was stunned and well, did not expect it. It was like the start and from then on people mistakes me for a girl.

There are people that go into the public washroom take a look at me washing my hand and ran out. Then came back in thirty seconds later with a shocked, but not so shocked expression. Now in my new work place, I’m the only one with long hair and it seems that the whole office knows bout it already and well, it was within weeks of me starting work. I’m not sure if all these are a good or a bad sign.

What is your impression when you see someone with long hair? Would you think that long hair must be a girl at first glance? What do you think of guys with long hair?

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The slightest things pissed me off today, well the evening at least. It’s the first time that I let emotions take over and drove a little out of hand, with my family sitting in it. This has never happened before for I believe in not endangering others.

I’ll remember this day as long as I live and I’m sure I will never be able to forgive myself. It’s my dad’s birthday. How shameful of me. He did not even scold me but advised me.

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Click here… to listen to the song

Song – Dilemma
Artists – Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland

I love and I need you
Nelly, I love you, I do
Need you

No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
Boy, you know I’m crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
You know I’m crazy over you

Uh-uh-uh-uh
I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me
And she got the hots for me, the finest thing I need to see
But oh, no, no, she got a man and a son, oh-oh, but that’s okay
‘Cause I wait for my cue and just listen, play my position
Like a shortstop, pick up everything mami hittin’
And in no time I better make this friend mine and that’s for sure
‘Cause I-I never been the type to break up a happy home
But there’s something ‘bout baby girl, I just can’t leave her ‘lone
So tell me, ma, what’s it gonna be
She said, “You don’t know what you mean to me,” come on

No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
Boy, you know I’m crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
You know I’m crazy over you

Uh-uh-uh-uh
I see a lot in your look and I never say a word
I know how niggas start actin’ trippin’ , and hate up all the girls
And there’s no way Nelly go for it
Ain’t fuckin’ with no dame, as you could see
But I-I like your steeze, your style, your whole demeanor
The way you come through and holler, and swoop me in his two-seater
Now that’s gangsta and I got special ways to thank ya, don’t you forget it
But it ain’t that easy for you to back up and leave him
But you and me we got ties for different reasons
I respect that and right before I turned to leave
She said, “You don’t know what you mean to me,” come on

No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
Boy, you know I’m crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
You know I’m crazy over you

Sing it for me, K
I love and I need you
Nelly, I love you, I do
And it’s more than you’ll ever know
Boy, it’s for sure
You can always count on my love
Forever more, yeah, yeah
East coast, I know you’re shakin’ right
Down south, I know you’re bouncin’ right
West coast, I know you’re walkin’ right
(‘Cause you don’t know what you mean to me)
Midwest, I see you swingin’ right

No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
Boy, you know I’m crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
You know I’m crazy over you

East coast, I know you’re shakin’ right
Down south, I know you’re bouncin’ right
West coast, I know you’re walkin’ right
(You don’t know what you mean to me)
Midwest, I see you swingin’ right
East coast, you’re still shakin’ right
Down south, I know you’re bouncin’ right
West coast, I know you’re walkin’ right
(You don’t know what you mean to me)
Midwest, you’re still swingin’ right

No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
Boy, you know I’m crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I’m with my Boo
You know I’m crazy over you

Yeah, yeah
East coast, I know you’re shakin’ right
Down south, I know you’re bouncin’ right
West coast, I know you’re walkin’ right
(You don’t know what you mean to me)
Midwest, I see you swingin’ right
East coast, you’re still shakin’ right
Down south, I know you’re bouncin’ right
West coast, I know you’re walkin’ right
(You don’t know what you mean to me)
Midwest, you’re still swingin’ right

This songs brings back a lot of memories, a song that really hit it with most every back then. The catchy ahhh at the start catches the attention and then as the vocal kicks, it just makes and impact with such lyrics to start with. Then as the rap starts, the song just seems to give you a little confusion in genre perspective. This song was really a hit and you can hear it almost anywhere and I really like the catchy music with the ahhhh everywhere and the blend of voices with a change of genre and a nice bass at the background.

It does make me search for a while, replaying some flashback and videos of the past. I’m smiling now as I’m sitting here writing things. Those memories that I still keep in me, replays once in a while unconsciously, out of the blue. I think that is the beauty of it as it comes unannounced, at a random time, out of the blue, just to surprise me with a smile.

Mesmerizing my heart
You gave me life
Losing you and everything
Only permitted and allowed
Vagueness, consuming my soul
Entering my body, scarring my heart
Living off the dreams
In the sea of imaginations
Surrounded by purple lavenders
A fantasy I will always and surely keep

24 Expressions »

Now, this is interesting and thanks kat, it’s fun to take quizzes. I thought that we could only have left and right brain where one is for creativity and the other for logic. I wonder which side is male and female brain.

Your Brain is 80% Female, 20% Male

Your brain leans femaleYou think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you’re tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

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This is what I got when I did this test. Need I say anything more?

I sometimes wonder…

You Are 63% Feminine, 37% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side.Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you.And you’re just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

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Click here… to listen to the song

Song – 童话 (Fairy Tale)
Artists – Michael Wong 光良

忘了有多久 再没听到你
对我说你 最爱的故事
我想了很久 我开始慌了
是不是我又 做错了什么

你哭着对我说 童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂 从你说爱我以后
我的天空 星星都亮了

我愿变会变成童话里 你爱的那个天使
张开双手 变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会象童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

你哭着对我说 童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂 从你说爱我以后
我的天空 星星都亮了

我愿变会变成童话里 你爱的那个天使
张开双手 变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会象童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我要变会变成童话里 你爱的那个天使
张开双手 变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会象童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我会变会变成童话里 你爱的那个天使
张开双手 变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会象童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

一起写 我们的结局

This song is titled fairytale and well and zewt, you did mention that you don’t believe in such things and fairytale does not exist in life. Well, I agree with you and then I do disagree at the same time.

I did talk about this before and well, fairy tale is in itself fairytale. You can deem that it does not exist at all, but then again, there are fairytales that happened around us may be not always but even once is considered happened, right.

The song tells of the tale of a boy, wanting to be the angel of a girl. From the music video, you will know that it’s about a very sick girl and this boy is in love with her, not wanting to leave or be left. He wants to be her angel, spreading his wings to protect her. A fairytale nonetheless but a very touching tale indeed.

The song sings of my heart and mind, my feelings. Need not say more, but the last phrase of the song, “together we write, our ending”.

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Sorry to Chen for that post previously is a test which I did not know about. Sorry.

Click here… to listen to the song

Song – Life Made Simple
Artists – Roger Kwok And Jessica Hester Hsuan

I was suddenly being caught by the tv, well Astro to be exact. I it’s just a short scene of a very popular Cantonese drama called life made simple, which stars Ah Wong. I think you all know which one it is, I hope.

It was the scene where Ah Wong came out of the surgery room and consciousness and blurted out that he is going to marry his little wife. Ah Wong is actually a special character as he is an adult but he has the mind and thinking of a child while his little wife is a normal adult.

In preparation of their wedding, he chose a set of traditional Chinese wedding costumes and decorated his bicycles. They rode on this bicycle in those Chinese costumes, sending out wedding invitations to all the neighbours around them.

What catches me is the happiness that is portrayed. They may not be the richest people. They may not be the most beautiful people. They may not be the most normal people at all. The scene left me smiling as I proceeded to bath after that short scene.

Though it’s just a drama and well, does life mimics it or does it mimics life. I think most of the drama and movies mimics life for they normally portrays society and only a handful comes from true imagination.

Now you tell me
Isn’t life beautiful
Don’t complicate
Isn’t life made simple

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For those who has or watches Astro, you might have come across this. It’s an advertisement that is shown and mostly I have seen it on Chinese channels, mainly because my mum watches Chinese channels and I don’t know why advertisements seems to catch me more than any movie or show they play.

The story revolves around a young girl called Jenni, who insist giving and sending clothes and books to this girl in South Africa, whom she saw on tv about their hardship. She wanted to do her part to help though her family is not rich. She parted with her dolls and books which she felt was useful for Amar.

I find that advertisements are actually more entertaining and informative nowadays. It’s actually just a simple advertisement regarding how Astro showed Jenni of the world and the empathy she has learned and governed by her parents. It’s a touching one there, to learn that a child does that, and not us adults.

We have been selfish, me included, in this world. We don’t do things right, we get ourselves tangled in other’s affair and we’ve done many wrongs, but very, very few rights. Don’t you think that if we have the time at hand, we should be trying to do good to others, even to those that we don’t know, rather than to make things worse for those that are already in trouble? Or simply just do nothing, if so to speak if we have nothing else we should take care of in our own shoes.

I think I want to be Jenni, an innocent girl that just try and try to help someone that she does not even know. When Amar replies by saying a simple thank you that we have helped her and a smile is wonderful. Rather than to waste time doing wrong things, knowingly or unknowingly, to people both known or not. And in hopes by doing so, will be able to help myself in all the ways I try to help others.

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As always I am at my sanctuary, my lovely Starbucks during this time. This time when darkness decided to creep up upon me. I actually know the people here, well, most of the girls anyway. I have been here so often and Sophia gave me a big smile and said welcome. I smile at her with such feeling of joy where I replied hi with excitement and one of my biggest smiles. Ordered my ice blended expresso from Kenny and with a joy tagged to my heart I took my drink and sat down.

These few days has not really been in the slumps for me but then again I know and you know, that you can never know what I am feeling and neither can I know what you are feeling. In reality, no one can. You can feel or know to a certain extend based on your own experience which could be better or worse, but then never the same feelings. That is because each individual is different and each feelings within an individual is unique to them based on their background and upbringing as well as what they have been through before.

I can never be in anyone’s shoes nor can you be in mine. What we can do is just to understand things in our perspective. The rest is history as to how we interpret it and use it to help other based on situations that we think is right. No one is perfect and therefore we all have our past, present and future which can only be understood by ourselves.

I am now in my sanctuary, my Starbucks, where everyone knows my name. Sounds familiar? Well not everyone knows my name anyway. I find that my sanctuary gives me peace and it gave me peace of mind. And listening to Il Divo from my earphones blasting till I can hear every little background instruments and their voice is just heaven. I am happy here in my sanctuary and I believe I will be when I leave here later. These are things within me and not beyond me.

This was written quite some time ago, before the Chinese New Year celebration. Dilemma stroke me a number of times. Of late. Well, things happens, and well, my wrong too, for letting it happen. I missed some one’s birthday bash yesterday, so sorry, had to entertain some one who came back from Penang all of a sudden. Bad organization skills, right.

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